Recently as part of my book discussion Search for Self, I was asked this question. Whom do I trust? How does a young child develop the skill sets which help them to ascertain who is worthy of their trust, their faith, their confidence and who will let them down?
This question is kind of the essence of my book. How does one develop trust? It is not a one-time thing or some medicine that once taken will have an effect. It is lifelong learning. Learning and unlearning. It is part of growing up, experiences in nutshell. It is a mixture of small moments joys, exhilaration, comfort and at the same time heartbreaks and betrayals.
My answer at that point in time was it is personal. But more than that it is also circumstantial. Trusting someone is an instinct that we develop on our journey of growing up. One's environment, familial structure, interaction with the larger society, all form the basis for how trusting we become. This accompanied by individual personality traits determines the trust quotient.
Having said this, all these factors are only partly under our control and not completely. It takes a lifetime for an individual to make a personality let alone understand it; Family we are born with, and Society will follow its own course. What then, where do I do as an individual, to ensure I trust the right people and only then will I be able to impart this piece of wisdom to my younger one.
How do I let go of them and say, 'Ja jee le apni zindagi.' We can't, we won't and maybe we shouldn't; though I am not sure on the last part.
The key to trusting someone outside is to trust ourselves. and as long as our children have the wherewithal to trust themselves; they will be fine. The feeling that no matter what, this too shall pass; as long as I am here. The inner strength; that only comes from knowing that yes we don't know everything but we will learn and face any challenge; the strength that Baba Ranchod Das Chanchand described as 'All iz Well'. That inner trust is what makes a person to attain a level of confidence in self and others.
A counter-argument to that could be, why sometimes, despite one's trust in self does one face betrayal. Trust in Self is kind of this shield a warrior uses while fighting a battle, it is not used as an offense but more as a defense. There will be attacks in your direction but trust in yourself will help you deal with it better.
Coming back to the question I started with
Who Do I trust?
Trust Yourself First..... Make a beginning... The rest would be easy...
This question is kind of the essence of my book. How does one develop trust? It is not a one-time thing or some medicine that once taken will have an effect. It is lifelong learning. Learning and unlearning. It is part of growing up, experiences in nutshell. It is a mixture of small moments joys, exhilaration, comfort and at the same time heartbreaks and betrayals.
My answer at that point in time was it is personal. But more than that it is also circumstantial. Trusting someone is an instinct that we develop on our journey of growing up. One's environment, familial structure, interaction with the larger society, all form the basis for how trusting we become. This accompanied by individual personality traits determines the trust quotient.
Having said this, all these factors are only partly under our control and not completely. It takes a lifetime for an individual to make a personality let alone understand it; Family we are born with, and Society will follow its own course. What then, where do I do as an individual, to ensure I trust the right people and only then will I be able to impart this piece of wisdom to my younger one.
How do I let go of them and say, 'Ja jee le apni zindagi.' We can't, we won't and maybe we shouldn't; though I am not sure on the last part.
The key to trusting someone outside is to trust ourselves. and as long as our children have the wherewithal to trust themselves; they will be fine. The feeling that no matter what, this too shall pass; as long as I am here. The inner strength; that only comes from knowing that yes we don't know everything but we will learn and face any challenge; the strength that Baba Ranchod Das Chanchand described as 'All iz Well'. That inner trust is what makes a person to attain a level of confidence in self and others.
A counter-argument to that could be, why sometimes, despite one's trust in self does one face betrayal. Trust in Self is kind of this shield a warrior uses while fighting a battle, it is not used as an offense but more as a defense. There will be attacks in your direction but trust in yourself will help you deal with it better.
Coming back to the question I started with
Who Do I trust?
Trust Yourself First..... Make a beginning... The rest would be easy...
