Vision – Do we really need it?

 

Today I worked on another  way to deliver my Instagram Live. I explained the concept of Vision Board using a whiteboard. Now, why was this important to me?

• -         I was trying something new.
• -         I was aware I could possibly be making a fool of me in that attempt.
• -         I was still brave and enjoying every bit of it
• -         At the end of it I was proud of myself.

I talked about what Vision was, how it is present like a fire inside of each and every person, but sometimes due to circumstances or responsibilities, we prefer to change it or just bury it somewhere deep down not knowing if we are even capable of achieving this vision.

We go through life working for someone else’s vision, starting sometimes with our parents. We do what our parents think is best for her, involuntarily but most of the times voluntarily because we don’t want to upset them and they know more. Somewhere along the way, when we start wishing for our life to look a certain way, we are stopped right in our tracks to focus on what is important for us as determined by others. Then eventually we get used to giving the reigns in someone else’s hand unless we get a reminder.

Times have changed though, but not so much. Having a vision seems more like a luxury than a necessity. As I was explaining my vision in my session with the hunky-dory wordings, there was a voice inside my head telling me, “Nupur, they are going to tell you, you can afford a vision, we cannot.”  I put this thought aside because I know when I started working on this vision of mine, I was a wreck. This vision helped me pick the pieces one by one and sail through the toughest of storms.

Whether or not we need a vision is like thinking whether we need colours in life. Life with only black and white will be nothing but dull and monotonous. Vision keeps it exciting. I  know myself too well to know that all the things I feared today will have stopped me from really carrying on with my session, had it not been for my vision to keep positive.

Vision not only helps you see where you are going, but also how far you have come. During bouts of self-doubts that is a very healthy thing to have.  Someone also asked me after my session today, all this talk about the vision board is good, but what if someone does really have a vision? My first instinct was to try and convince them of the fact that Vision is good and omnipresent. But then I later realized, telling someone who has just lost a loved one, to want to think far ahead, or someone who has just lost their livelihoods with no idea as to how they would make ends meet seemed unfair.

No, In times of challenges, Vision is like Sun which is covered by the clouds of despairs and doubt. One needs time, to see through. And only then will the clarity be obvious.

Having a vision is never a matter of capacity or capability. It is a matter of intent. The intent of recognition that one goes through everyday working for some vision, their own or someone else’s.  A choice has to be made.

Vision- A Definition.

The power of sight as we know it is a blessing.  The power of vision is strength. Are the two different along with implication? To some extent.  The ability to see is a physical trait but the ability to visualize is beyond the physicality of any being. I have had the honour of not just observing but also working with people with a vision so that their lack of ability to see was hardly noticeable.

Vision defines our ability to see beyond the power of sight. It gives us hope and wants us to strive for something bigger than ourselves.  I remember hearing the word vision, in this context as a motto for the first organization I worked for some 22 years back. I was absolutely in awe and equally confused.

Awe because their vision was beyond the current scope of my imagination. It was confusing because it did not make sense to my 20-year-old brain. They also had a mission which was easier to grasp, longer but easier.

Later when I went and asked, I am not sure who in Senior Management, the difference, I was told was that Vision was something of sort of horizon, you see, you want it but you never really get there, whereas Missions are more like achievable targets. I think the organization had made those much before the discussions about Goals, Objectives and strategies or somewhere around that time.

What stood out for me, however, was the intent behind the vision. Later when I went on to study strategic intent, the connection further became clear. The question however is, this is all good for an organization. Is this relevant for an individual as well?

Does having a vision help us? I think it does.

Just like any organization, individuals strive to achieve something bigger than them.  One realization is that the concept is beyond the current scope of imagination and it might not make sense. It starts with an idea and is a slow process. One needs to give it time for the idea to manifest into a vision.

Vision has many meanings and interpretation, sight, imagination, dream, or may even be a magical experience. Through the week, we discuss these interpretations in our blogs and interactions. The first interaction on Instagram Live this week will be on November 30 @5:00pm. Do Log On https://www.instagram.com/dwivedinupur/

Let us together make a Vision for the future.

Freedom- My Learning over the week

As I penned down my feelings about freedom this week, I touched a variety of areas, Freedom & Future, Freedom and what influences it, the concept of a Deathless existence, the cost of freedom especially from family perspective and finally the aspect of bias and freedom from it.  However, what was most important was the observations and learning that I have had regard freedom over the week.

·         Freedom comes with responsibilities.

• ·         Our generation hasn’t paid the price of freedom so we will never be able to truly explain the cost to our children. It is different to share what we haven’t earned.
• ·         Free will is a fallacy but freedom is not.
• ·         To be free you must move away from the current situation, staying in the same situation will not set you free.
• ·         Our freedom as we know is truly a blessing and we should be grateful for it.
• ·         My Freedom will always be different from your freedom.
• ·         The freedom provided by governance is different from freedom by society in general. Furthermore, there is another distinction between freedoms by self.

 I also realize how remarkable it is to envision the kind of freedom I want for myself. The ability to help my children dream and create a future for them is the biggest freedom I have. I am deeply grateful for the kind of freedom that has been given to me.

Looking forward, I will now move on to the power of freedom i.e. Vision. Vision helps us define our freedom. It helps us see the future as we want it to. It scares us at the same time, excites us. Vision is the first step to achieve the kind of freedom we strive for. 

Let us then await the news perspectives on Vision in the Weekly Issue XIII. 

Freedom from Bias

 

Reuter’s   has a huge list when it comes to bias-free reporting. It broadly covers not taking sides but conveying all sides, differentiating between facts and opinions,  using parliamentary languages and avoiding stereotypes, refraining from advising, maintaining uniformity, no political affiliation and equal opportunity & diversity in the newsroom.

What I found intriguing was the simplicity of these points and yet it goes against every strand in human nature. All the lives we are prone to judging, if we aren’t judging others we are being judged. It kind of becomes a survival instinct. For us to do better than others we need to take sides and succumb to stereotypes.

These biases are not just suggested but also encouraged, sometimes by people with a vested interest or at other times, we ourselves like to go with the flow. Without getting  into the categories of biases, it would also be a great idea to understand  what can one does in everyday life.

Being Neutral- An individual can't be without an opinion and hence taking sides is not just natural, it is required for a healthy coexistence. What is not required, is however not make it personal.  Your one opinion does not define you so let it be reflective.

Facts and opinions-  It is raining outside is a fact. It may rain outside is an opinion.  Learn to differentiate.  

Use of Language- This week, my friend asked me to speak about OTT and its impact.  He wanted me to talk about the language used. What is happening with the latest trends in entertainment, that it is normalizing foul language. It is normalizing a culture of abuses and diminishing the capacity of viewers especially children to accept a language free of abuses.

Avoiding Stereotypes- I always say awareness is the best way to deal with stereotypes. Ask yourself three questions to – Is it true, is it relevant and should it be changed?

 Biases are natural because they are set into our system from the very beginning. The best way to deal with that is to identify, acknowledge and make an effort to minimize its impact on day to day life and decision making.

 

Freedom and Family Ties

 

I wrote the title and then looked at it again. Doesn’t it sound like an oxymoron? My write up yesterday spoke about the mental makeup required to achieve a shift in mindset. Today we delve deeper into one particular point to understand how it works.

One the scary thing about freedom is the cost of it, which is to say the things we leave behind. These can be both, tangibles and intangibles, the relations, the places we grew up in, the memories, the possessions, or anything that we feel close to our heart.

I have often found the determiners to this freedom especially from family context are often judged by society. Some of the stereotypes in that context are baffling yet understandable

1. -         It is important to get married for a secured future.
2. -         Men ‘should’ have a career, women may or may not.
3. -         A certain look and a certain income for eligibility for marriage
4. -         Power structure- Women should be submissive. Men should prevail.

These are some, and have a huge impact on our decision making, more so because they are conditioned since childhood. One generation needs to work on conditioning, I think, makes life easier for the future.

Imagine conditioning a girl child, that she has a second-grade existence compared to a male child who is the torchbearer of the household and take on the family name. The girl will always believe herself to be less important not questioning when she is being married off at a young age to a man twice her age. Is that freedom for her? She is being tossed from one life of servitude to another, never thinking or demanding for herself.  For this girl, this is what free means. The question of whether she would risk everything she is currently familiar with to attain freedom as someone else defines it? I am not sure.

How do you think the ‘new normal’ is going to affect our freedom and family concept? In the earlier part of 21^st the century so far we have seen a disintegration of family ties, with technology taking time over family time, work over celebration and goals over festivities. This pandemic has made us take a hard look at our priorities.

We now know where we stand, and most importantly what is important for us. I personally saw movements this year where people chose to leave places they were unhappy in and move to happy horizons, and the transition sometimes was painful but worth the effort.  The reason for pain comes from the perspective of not just leaving loved ones behind but also flouting societal expectations. 

There are some lessons that this pandemic taught me about Freedom

-         Freedom is personal. It is a choice I make and take responsibility for it.

-         Awareness and circumstances decide your choice of freedom. The more aware you are the better you will be able to critically examine your situation and decide how to deal with it. Awareness is acquired by reading, networking with people beyond  your circle

-         Freedom means change. One cannot expect to live in the same circumstances and expect to be free. I am reminded of a book by Marshall Goldsmith which went by the name, “What got you here, won’t get you there!” The title strikes me as relevant even in this context.

 

Society is changing and so are mindsets. The things that were true some 20 years back are no longer applicable, and hence we should stop living in the past and look at what we are capable of doing in this moment. We need to keep up because it is not just 10 years which going to be change worthy but every coming year will be a stepping stone to your future

The cost of Freedom

  I grew up in an environment where my parents provided more than enough ‘freedom’. I also remember them being challenged for this. Our family as a whole made some bold choices for those days and I was proud of it. To say my parents did not pay the price for those choices would be an understatement but they were brave and never let it affect us.

Today I was discussing with a friend, a case of an employed help who was a victim of domestic violence. I have as part of the social sector, been witness to many women in similar circumstances not limited to underprivileged sections of society. The power to be free and choose to do so, sometimes are completely different. The role of class, education and means become secondary and only fear of the cost of freedom stays.

So what is this unknown we are scared off?

-         Venturing into unknown- People are normally afraid to know, what lies ahead? They would rather stick to the known and comfortable than venture out to test waters. And god forbids, if they do get burned, they immediately step back saying, we knew the world was a bad place. We are happy, where we are.

-         Responsibility for actions- To be free means to exercise the choice, and take responsibility for that. One no longer has someone else to blame for their problems.

-         Paying the price- I wish freedom was an easy trade but it isn’t. The cost of freedom can mean moving on, which sometime would also imply leaving behind things you love but have turned toxic. Close relationships, houses you were born in, a well-paying job, etc.

The point being, all these fears are legitimate but ultimately the choice remains. What does one want to do? The way I see it is if future or freedom looks challenging, follow these steps.

-         Take the next step- Freedom is a state of mind and that is what one has to strive for first before the big picture. It means creating a shift from it is not possible to it is possible. From disdain to home. The important thing will be to just take the next step to make yourself feel better. If you have lost your job, one needs to start by reaching out to friends, family, LinkedIn.

-         Give yourself time- Things do not change overnight so do not expect miracles. Be kind to yourself give yourself time.

-         Celebrate your victories- No matter how small they feel every achievement is a victory. Even the fact that you give yourself hope is a victory.

-         Reach out to people- Find your well-wishers and stay connected.

Freedom is a difficult choice to make, but with support and courage, a person can achieve it.

Freedom & Deathless World

 

I am in terrible pain, I have back pain and have been on bed rest for the past couple of days and in that pain when something like Deathless Existence crossed my screen, my first reaction was more of anger. I would rather be free of the pain right now than live with it and then I saw the video posted by Interesting Engineering on LinkedIn. Then I learned it is a combination of genetic engineering, artificial intelligence, brain interface and some very complicated-sounding concept can expect us to live beyond our human existence as early as 2050. https://bit.ly/2Hi2gCm

Isn’t this amazing, freedom from any kind of pain? I would love that right now. There is a catch though. The film talked about stalling cell growth so that people can live up to 200 years. Now that is where I started to get a bit uncomfortable. We have already been talking about 40 is the new 20, 60 is now 40, etc. A view to invigorate our spirit of life as we age. The concept of not getting older but younger is nearer than one imagines.

One cannot begin to realize the implication of this on our already worn-out planet.  I am going to optimistic though. How will this deathless existence work-

1. -         Freedom from pain and health issue
2. -         Increase productivity and efficiency
3.        Freedom to fulfil their dreams

 I was running out of positives so I asked my son, Abhay. The last point was his and then he left me with another pertinent question, ‘Will it really be a human existence as we know it?’

The answer baffles me. We are living in a free world, at least some of us. People from time immemorial have been trying to live forever. The Immortalist, as they are called, want to believe in the science of increase the life span.

The amazing part of this discussion is not whether there  will be a technology in the near future that will help us live longer, but whether my children will have the freedom to exercise the choice to live life as they deem fit.

The key to freedom is not how we utilize it, but more importantly, what we leave for the next generation to work on, our freedom is our legacy.

Freedom- An Expression

 

·         In the minds of many Americans, the coronavirus pandemic creates a huge danger to constitutional rights and personal freedom. 

·         Indonesia: Concern about freedom of religion

·         Patricia Mukhim Case Reflection Of Threat To Freedom Of Speech In India, Says Editors Guild

·         European Union warns France over press freedom as it pushes security law

·         As a nation, do we care about freedom of expression?

·         Freedom of speech does not mean freedom to hurt

 

Some of the News headlines I read in Google News section during my search for Freedom. We value our right to move about freely, to practice the choice of faith, to speak freely, to express, or in other words to be able to be ourselves If we think about, when are we most ourselves when we can express.  Freedom is expression can be viewed from two aspects-- Internal & External.

Environmental Factor- Repressive Regimes, discrimination, cultural restrictions, religious and traditional upbringing are some of the environmental factors which have a long-lasting effect on freedom of expression. The environmental factor not only curbs the freedom to express but develops a dogmatic mindset. Awareness if the first step to bringing about change.

Internal Factor- Quite recently I came across the concept of Freeze response in the domain of ‘Flight, fight or freeze’ response. Admittedly I have several times been in the situation. It feels weird. I remember going on stage and practically muting myself. I used to think it was lack of preparation. So I started preparing more. Preparation helped but it was still difficult till I realized that for me I needed to achieve the freedom from judgment. Fear of ridicule, judgment, self-doubt, all lead to this. Introspection is what helps deal with internal challenges of communication.

Freedom of Expression cannot be viewed individually, it as to be viewed as interdependent matrix along with the freedom to choose the freedom of movement, freedom to settle and freedom to be oneself. The path seems difficult but is not treacherous.  Some things that worked for me are-

• -         Read, grow your awareness. Learn more about things.
• -         Connect with people. Find a safe space to express yourself.
• -         Redeem your faith in yourself.
• -         Do one thing every day that you haven’t done before.
• -         Make small goals for expressing yourself.
• -         Have an opinion and express it.

The last point is the amalgam of expression. Once you are aware and abreast with the situation, the need to speak up becomes imperative.  That is the first step of bringing about long-lasting change.

Having this said, freedom of expression is a huge responsibility as it a right. No points for that. We are all witness to the extent of damage this gift can do. Use it with care. There are a couple of pointers that I have learned as part of my research and training.

• -         Wikipedia has a list of 35 biases roughly broadly divided in 9 categories. Why is this important? This is important because no one can live without some kind of bias. The idea is to be aware of it so that it does not affect your decision making and also expression. I have learned it the hard way but knowledge helps.
• -         Fake news and what to do with it- It is not rocket science. One checks the source before posting or better don’t post.
• -         Someone else post is not an opinion of you.  If you can’t say something good, don’t say it at all. Class 2 courtesy lesson.

Freedom of An expression is a privilege. Use it wisely.

Freedom - View

 

Are we truly free? From the time we are born till we attain adulthood, we are under the supervision and guidance of our parents. Once we enter adulthood, and we enter this massive world, we work our way to surviving and managing it wanting to be free but end up getting only kicked from one liability or responsibility to another.

Just as I was writing this blog, I found a very interesting conversation on Facebook. This was between Tony Robbins, Motivational Speaker and Author and Sophie, the first AI Robot citizen. Sophie interestingly mentioned that humans live in the fallacy of free will. She challenged the thought, commenting that Robots and humans are alike in many ways.

There were a couple of reasons I took this topic. Most of our decision making is driven by the ability to be free, and unwillingness to compromise and live our life on our conditions. This week we talk about freedom. Since school, we learnt about our rights, duties and responsibilities.

However, with time there is a change in perception of freedom. The aspect of gratitude is taken for granted and people have forgotten the cost of freedom. At times like these when a calamity strikes to remind us of the value of it. Most importantly at these times people truly realize what to do with it.

We saw different reactions from different people. Some panic, others celebrated and yet some reached out worked hands-on to help others in distress.  People displayed responsibility and others plainly refuted what can only be called common sense.  Few interesting governance decisions were also taken. Some approached cautiously whereas others left it to chance.

The concept of freedom does different things for different people. For some, it empowers, and for others it enslaves them. The reason for this distinction is what we will discuss in this weekly issue.

Also, join in for my Instagram Live tomorrow @ 5pm at @dwivedinupur tomorrow on November 23, 2020.

Let’s learn this week a view of Freedom!

Certainty-The Crux

 

There was a realization that set in this week.  This was my 11^th issue. Over the past few weeks, I have spoken about Mental Health, Learning, Coping, Success, Curiosity, Sensitivity, Perception, Purpose and Journey. With Certainty, I felt where am I going with this?

A level of uncertainty set in. This uncertainty gave me a reason to think further. Why am I writing these blogs? What is the reason that I go about explaining and interpreting and sharing meaning or perspectives of what can simply be described as words?  Why should anyone want to read them?

I have been blessed to pick up many learning in my early career life, as I often quote. One of them was the principle of the law of contract which contains the element of certainty. Even though it is a theoretical term it was imperative that one understands the implication.

A single word has the capacity to be interpreted in so many ways, but it’s not just the interpretation, it is the implication of the interpretation which is a cause of concern and that creates a society full of uncertainty.  In order to understand the difference in the implication, we have to understand the reason for the same.

 

Where a person is from, their cultural backgrounds, their education and the emotional frame of mind at that particular point of time, all affect the interpretation of a word. However, this makes it difficult to achieve certainty in interpersonal communication.  

My effort through my blogs is to present contextual meaning or interpretation. My purpose is to give people the power of freedom to choose, as I have forever believed awareness is the first step to acceptance.

Since I started I have come a long way, making connections, starting my live segment on Instagram to reach out more, and I only have a lot of my well-wishers to thank for. Next week I start another journey where  I invite a guest to talk about the weekly issue. 

New week, New journey, a certainty among uncertainties and possibility among opportunities.   Wish me luck. 

Certainty- Parenting Dilemma

 

 I was watching  Extraction on Netflix. It starred Chris Hemsworth (Thor fame). The scene was that of a young boy who was part of a crime syndicate pointing a gun at Chris Hemsworth. My daughter who was watching it couldn’t understand it.

She was certain that all children know that violence is bad and pointing a gun for a child is a crime. Then why? When she asked me, I tried to explain to her poor conditions of children in some part of the world and tried to explain the concept of extremism. In retrospect, I might have been wrong in doing so. She did not need to know or did she?

There are a couple of aspects of this incident that I want to highlight-

• -         The innocence of a child which does not understand the uncertainties and frustrations of the world.
• -         As a parent, I am certain I am capable of providing a certain environment but I am aware uncertainty is inevitable. Where does that leave us?
• -         What are the skills I need to teach her to deal with uncertainty?

Our children are exposed to almost every kind of sin, thanks to the Internet revolution. As a parent, we are well aware we are as much a part of the problem as a solution. We obviously cannot apply the  same parameters that our parents applied, because they don’t make sense anymore.  

Going back to my observations, there are a couple of things we can prepare our children for:

• Let we acknowledge two important facts. The world is shrinking and our kids are smarter than ever before. We can start by helping them accept and celebrate the differences.
• It is difficult to control the environment but definitely possible to develop their emotional wellbeing to face adversities.
• Resilience, Empathy,  Modesty, kindness, gratitude and wisdom are some qualities we should be looking at our children to have.
• Communication is the key. Keep doors open for communication, even if you don't understand it. 
• Train yourself to unlearn some of the things you have been taught 

Preparation for uncertainty is comparatively easy now.  Covid hasn’t really left anything to the imagination.  Children are aware of the prospect of new normal and as parents we know our capacity, we have been tested.  Our fear of children’s future will never truly leave us. What will help us will certainly is the belief that the future holds promise.