Facilitating Excellence- Introduction!

 Goodmorning Friends, It is high time I introduce Facilitating Excellence to you. Facilitating Excellence is an organization aimed at bridging the gap between what is and what can be and now we are embarking upon a new journey. 

We wish to work with young champions and help them prepare for a path that facilitates their journey

How we plan to do that is?

We plan to tell a larger world they are supported and also help them find inner support mechanisms. 

Why are we doing this?

We have all lived a battle of our own and want the upcoming generation to benefit from what we did wrong. The idea is to let them make their own mistakes and not the one's we did.

What are we doing?

Training, Live sessions with Industry Stalwarts and Coaching session, Support groups. 

Who is doing it?

Facilitating Excellence was founded by me- 4 years back but wasn't able to continue the work then. Now we are re-launching ourselves. 

We have on board Senior Consultants and Advisors who play vital role in working with the organization and a research team which helps to build need based program. . 

Where are we doing the session?

We take both online and offline session, based on the need. Our ongoing sessions will be featured on soon to be launched website. Meanwhile right now we are present on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter.

We are bringing to you our second online session on Self Awareness on February  2, 2021 at 5:00 PM. For registration https://forms.gle/bW4Gura5FjPiZJJG7. 

 

Self Awareness and Relationship Management

 Parenting is the hardest thing I have had to do. Quite recently I told someone, there was an alternative way in which they could have handled the situation with their child. She was visibly upset. Why because according to her, I wasn't dealing with her problem and it is easier for me to give 'Gyan'.

SHE WAS RIGHT. 

I had no idea about what she was dealing with, I knew she is proud of her children and in that moment of vulnerability and my 'Gyan' wasn't really getting across to her. 

Where does Self Awareness feature in this conversation?

Taking in a cue from yesterday's discussion- 

I should have been more aware of my growing impatience and the need to be heard or give 'Gyan'. Listening to it more would have made it easier for her and me

- ascertaining whether she needed my 'Gyan'

- may be established an open communication where she was more receptive. 

From her perspective, as soon as she realized and took a decision that she isn't going to like what I am going to say, she closed herself to new ways and techniques of approaching issues. Is this a pattern with her? Possibly, but based on my limited interaction it was hard to tell. 

The discussion that ensued was more in terms of he said she said, leaving a bitter taste in everyone in the room. 

'There were lot of ways in which I could have reacted or responded differently- I could have listened more, asked her to come up possible ways she could have dealt it or simply made her feel heard. That is all people need most of the time. It restores the confidence one has on oneself. 

Relationships are based on trust and if a person feels that their vulnerability is misused or targetted even as a misunderstanding. It is important that we take a call to mend that. 

A dialogue with self- Listening an art

 Between yesterday and today, there is a strong awareness which dawned on me. My impatience is creating a huge hurdle in my listening ability. I feel I wasn't always like that, but I could be wrong maybe it was a blind spot. 

What were my cues to this realization?

CUE 1

When people are talking, I interrupt, trying to keep my point.  

Why I am doing this? -where am I coming from- my need to be heard. 

What did I end up missing- Things people were saying and more importantly stuff they weren't. 

Another aspect to it was that in order to fill the gap, I filled in the gaps talking more than required, giving in pieces of information which should have been privy to me. 

Hence my Learning- Leaders should listen more not just so they create an atmosphere of cohesiveness and empathy but also so that they don't divulge information they are not expected to or required to. 

CUE 2

Body language or if on the phone, a sudden quiet on the other side(discounting technical issues) means something about the conversation is not making them feel heard. Even exacting response like, hmm, ok, yes, or our famous Indian head bobs, all point towards the direction. that they don't feel heard. 

Why I am doing this? -where am I coming from- 'I stop caring what the other person has to say after they did or did not say what I want them to say. 

What did I end up missing- Some valuable insights into looking things differently. Good ideas or even bad ones that could have possibly helped me.

With time and this behaviour, people will start giving up on me. Sounds extreme! It isn't. Giving up on me doesn't mean they would stop interacting but they would in all likelihood create a distance. 

Leadership lesson- If you want to be a leader, tune in to unsaid more than the said. The insight is priceless. 

Listening is patience. Patience to deal with someone else's baggage while dealing with one's own. The idea is to manage it effectively so that one baggage does not reflect on the other.

Self Awareness & Trust

 Trust is a factor that does not come easily.  Life brings us to a point where we keep looking at people for support but we also realise that is not coming. So we start looking inwards, strengthening ourselves, working on our passions and building our arsenal. 

In this journey what are the major challenges? According to me, the challenges don't present them in form of physical obstacles, (but everyone knows that); they are more in mind and one of them is trust. 

Over years of conditioning, we have been taught to be careful? Careful of people's intention, careful of people's overtures, or just generally careful. 

How does the sense of self, help in inculcating faith and trust? Here is my analysis-

Self Awareness helps you realize your trigger points thereby identifying the source of threat. Once the source is established it is easier to address it. Go back to the time when you were asked to choose a career? Were all the cards on the table? Did you really know what you want and yet you went ahead and chose one. What did you rely on then? - Market demand, parental guidance, peer support, career counselling (if available), or even a whim sometimes. 

Do these factors influence to ensure minimal risk? No! 

Do these factors create an impression of minimal risk? Yes

When in due course of time, we move from these external factors towards internal processing of information through learning and experience, we become trusting of ourselves and by default trusting of the environment of people around us. 

Being careful is good advice, but being trusting and trustworthy is a greater one. 

Self Awareness & Blind Spots

 

I wish I could understand the diagram with greater precision but all I understand is that there are certain areas in our retina which do not reflect light resulting in blind spots or dark alleys. Our brain never sees the whole picture as a result and only a part of the information is delivered to the brain. 

Compare this with walking down a dark alley with a street light on one particular area. The rest is a blind spot.  

In the second scenario, it is an environmental issue, but in the first scenario, it is an anatomical hurdle.

We have similar blind spots when it comes to our personal awareness. Sometimes its environment- what does that mean?

• Lack of Knowledge - It is not about education or skill set up essentially about lack of appropriate awareness. We don't know. 
• Lack of Exposure- A road not travelled will never give you the answers it requires. 
• Lack of  Space- Humans are social animal but at the same time we inherently have a strong sense of space. We need a breather.
• Lack of social connect- Equally important is our need to interact and connect.

These factors together or individually, give rise to an emotional set up which triggers us. But what about these factors will trigger us still remains unknown? Some times we are blindsided, which essentially means that something happens are we lose our temper. On introspection, i.e., if we do, we realize that it was nothing of consequence and was actually a pent up frustration from a lot of other things. 

Blind spots are stuff that we fail to see that are otherwise obvious and Self-awareness is a conscious attempt to look for them, aided or independently. 

Communicating with Awareness

 

I loved the title as I wrote it. Sounds rather spiritual! But that is not the intent of the blog. The intent of the blog is to see if Self Awareness makes a difference in our communication. 

So let us take it backwards. When we communicate we use, our facial expression, tone, words, gestures, age-old doodling and writings, and our latest love- technology. However, there is a factor of communication which holds equal relevance- i.e. Intent of communication. How communication is done is largely dependent on why it is done?

The why of communication comes from Self Awareness?

 

Imagine a situation where a Manager is frustrated with an employees' performance. She is not saying it upfront but is giving the silent treatment. What is the message the Manager is giving out?

To the employee-

‘mose kya bhool hui, jo yeh saza hamka mili.’   Wondering desperately where they went wrong.

To the colleagues

- 'Thakur to gayio' (thakur being employee obviously) and a sense of frustration would prevail. What if I am next?

In the organization-

‘kal kya hoga kisko pata’ Knowing well, that the culture encourages silent treatment rather than direct dialogue. 

A self-aware manager would  be more sensitive to the messages they are sending out, watch themselves for the patterns they often resort to and not let others or themselves become a victim of it. 

Self-awareness—a research-proven by Korn Ferry is directly linked to robust financial performance. the report goes on to state that poor performing companies had employees with 20% more blind spots than once who are doing financially well. 

Self Awareness is not just knowing strengths and weaknesses, it is also the ability to admit mistake and work on that at the same time accept feedback with grace and humility. 

Anatomy of Self Awareness

I have been talking about Self Awareness as a concept for quite some time, but even when I explain it, it sometimes feels it is a concept away from us which means, I am a person with physical existence, my awareness is rather detached, kind of out of body experience. 

So let us quickly understand what part of our brain is responsible for this self awareness. 

Neuroscientists have believed that three brain regions are critical for self-awareness: the insular cortex, the anterior cingulate cortex, and the medial prefrontal cortex.

• The anterior cingulate cortex is the connection between rational and emotional, i.e. prefrontal cortex and the limbic brain. Naturally, it is the region which is helping us figure out why do we act the way we do?
• Insular Cortex controls motor response and interpersonal behaviour. 
• Medial Prefrontal Cortex mediates decision making

 

However, some studies recently revealed that it is more a product of a diffuse patchwork of pathways in the brain—including other regions—rather than confined to specific areas The roots of Human Self Awareness.

Patchwork or Pathways- From a layperson perspective, this information might not be relevant but sometimes when we hear people telling us to practice mindfulness, and meditation, it does help to know how these are affecting our physical system. Let us look at an example. 

Mindfulness meditation is believed to be able to regulate negative thoughts and decrease emotional reactivity through these regions of the brain by increasing blood flow towards these parts Anterior Cingulate cortex and Insular Cortex. 

This makes it easier for us to accept or understand the level of self-awareness we are in and where we can go from here.

Understanding your brain and its functions is the first step to really making sense of how our brain works. 

Self Awareness & Branding

I was attending a training session day before and the trainer was talking about us not being marketers but the need to learn marketing as entrepreneurs which got me thinking about the role of branding and the relation it had with self-awareness. Self-awareness provides an insight into our branding the more we know about our selves the better we get at projecting our strengths as brands. 

So how does this work? Let us try and see the flow

When we are aware of ourselves, we know our strengths and limitations and can work with them or around them. Yes, I said around them. I remember having one of the coaching conversations with a senior manager, in our organization. If you are not getting through to the situation, you will have to find a way around the situation. Basically, maximise your strengths and work around your weakness.

Once we know that, we can manage our emotions and our expectation better and hence in our journey somewhere end up developing an image that aligns with what we have wanted to be all our lives. It is not instantaneous but a thorough thought out process which is transformative in nature in existence. 

The idea of what we wish we were like seems distant but self-awareness is the first step to it. 

 

Self Awareness and First Impressions

There are certain traits I have observed in human interactions. You do not like or dislike a pitch. You like or dislike a person! Sounds harsh doesn't it. Picture this. 

You meet someone and they send you a 'vibe'. Immediately based on the vibe you reach to a conclusion. 'I like what they are going to say or I won't like what they are going to say. Isn't  that what first impressions all about?'

According to Mindtools, it takes all of three seconds for someone to make an opinion about you. What are the basis of this opinion formation- how does a person reach a conclusion and that too in such short span. 

The article went on to say appearance, mannerisms, dressing sense, etc etc etc. So I went digging. Here is what I found. 

We have all known what Michelle Obama endured as the first lady of USA. But here are some unkindly words she has been subjected to-

She’s a “feminist nightmare” for focusing on her family. (Michelle Cottle, writing in Politico)

 She’s not classy enough and is an “atrocity” as first lady: “She makes a fool of herself — every time she comes on TV, I have to turn it off. Laura Bush was so classy, and that’s what we really need again.” (Laurie Boilard, quoted by Bloomberg Politics at a party for a Republican candidate’s wife)

She is an “ape in heels.” (Pamela Ramsey Taylor, director of Clay County Development Corp., Clay, W.Va., who later swore she was not racist.)WashingtonPost.com

 I look at Michelle and find her an embodiment of spirit, talent and grit. What was I seeing so differently?

From the time I was very young, we were taught to look a certain way (quite a lot to do with the convent education) I received. I complied and grew up with the notion, when in Rome do as Romans do. However post schooling it all went downhill and no amount of management education could "fix" me. I suffered the backlash as well, was often judged for my appearance both professionally and personally till the time I gave up trying to fight the battle.  

But then I met some people who valued my presence irrespective of the first, second or third impressions I gave them, which taught me an important lesson, very late in life. 

People make opinions not based on first impressions but what they choose to see.

I can see someone and see beauty whereas others might see atrocity. According to me these are the things that govern the first impression-

a- State of mind - If I am feeling doubtful, trapped, frustrated, it is unlikely I will be open and look at people from my limited sense. 

b- Environment- If I do not have enough exposure then I will only see people based on my environment rather than trying to see them from where they are coming from. 

c- Conditioning- Essentially refers to stereotyping conscious and unconscious. 

Once we are aware of where we are coming from (self aware) it is much easier to see where others can come from. Give people time. 

A Space for Self Awareness

Lord Buddha left all his worldly possessions to find a space to meditate. He achieved enlighment under Bodhi Tree. That was his space for himself. 

When organizations conduct training programs for employees they prefer complete disconnect from workplace. Pandemic was a different ballgame alltogether. It took everything together mixed it up in this huge jar and just gave it back, probably multiplied umpteen number of times. It did teach us an important lesson though. 

 Why is this important? What happens when we combine our work and home and play into a common space. 

Things get affected. Once your go to purpose of life becomes a distant goal and life goes from one task to another, barely surviving. In this fight for survival the most compromised is the self. 

The juggling and the tight rope walking creates two types of challenges. 

- A person is always on a lookout for space sometimes to breathe. 

- Knowing why a person is reacting the way they are seems a farout concept. 

Meditation, Exercise and so many other techniques are available but the challenge remains to find a safe space. The concept of safe space is simple- a place or environment free of harassment, criticism, judgment or emotional or physical harm. 

Creating a safe space is a joint responsibility of all stakeholders available.  It is not easy as it require contributions from every stakeholder in professional and personal space. 

What one can do is create safe space

• Set Expectation
• Facilitate Open communication
• Develop an atmosphere of confidentiality. 
• Accept Responses
• No response should be a response 
• Keep the feedback loop open

Safe space creates zone for self awareness. Only when a person is secured with themselves and others around they move into relaxed zone to know more about themselves.  

I am creating one such zone on January 19, 2021 @ 4pm. Do join in. To register https://forms.gle/Sgqsc6gUtQ8bs1hW6 

The 'I' in me

Founder's Syndrome- In Simple Word, it means I believe information is power, If I have the information I have power, and hence I am scared of sharing that power. 

Imposter Syndrome-A concept feeling that a person is not good enough despite evident success. It means nagging self-doubt and a constant sense
of intellectual inadequacy or unpreparedness leading to constantly questioning one's self-worth. 

Psychosomatic Disorders- Stress can play on our mental well being but sometimes it has a more physical implication. Asthma, Cold and Flu, Eczema, heart diseases, ulcers, tumours, all have been proven to have a link with the psychological state of well being.

Burnout- Burnout is a reaction to prolonged or chronic job stress and is characterized by three main dimensions: exhaustion, cynicism (less identification with the job), and feelings of reduced professional ability. Very Well Minds However it is not limited to the professional situation and can result in case of personal scenarios as well. 

However, why am I discussing this. What does it have to with me?

All of us at some point of time go through these syndromes knowingly or unknowingly. I have suffered from imposter syndrome almost all my life but thought this is how it is. Never questioned. It was only last year in a training program that I was introduced to the concept and one of my learning was I am not alone. Others have similar struggles which further gave me the courage to look beyond the shell I had closed myself in. 

I found hope. That is what one does with Self-awareness. One finds hope and courage. 

Come join  the journey with me to accepting yourself!!

Self Awareness- Why we avoid it?

I love taking a personality test. MBTI, 16 PF, Neo Pi R, etc. When I was heading HR for an organization, I dreamed of opening an assessment centre in the organization. Even during my masters, I used to go to a website which had a lot of personality test. It would give me some result and I would feel excited. 

The question here is what did I do with so much information. Absolutely nothing. I knew I was learning a lot about myself. I was introverted, intuitive, empathetic, so on and so forth. It had absolutely no use for me. 

Sometimes this would make me feel good about myself, (introverted remember) and at others make me angry. I did not want to accept the result. It was a personality I did not want. 

I had told myself, I was a certain person for so many years and these tests based on certain questions made me change the way I think about myself? I reacted, rejected, and sometimes, just sometimes accepted. 

Soren Kierkegaard, Danish Philosopher had once said: 

“Therefore do not deceive yourself! Of all deceivers fear most yourself!” 

Why do we Reject?

We all live with a concept of ourselves. We know we have certain strengths and we are aware that we have certain weaknesses. All our lives we work on those weaknesses and are very happy with the progress and then one of these questionnaire comes in and reminds us of our weakness. We who have been working on them and have now a sense of achievement. When someone presents something that negates our sense of achievement it makes us feel inadequate. 

However it is always a good idea to look at it. Listening to it will always be a great option. 

1. Be Open - Listening to what is being said can start a new rapport. 
2. Seek feedback- seeking feedback only facilitates growth
3. Growth Mindset- Knowing what to accept and what to dismiss comes with a courage and time. Give yourself time but keep learning and keep moving.

To be conscious of the world outside and inside makes us deal with it patiently. So Be Aware!

Knowing Thyself- Challenges

One of the biggest hurdles in the path to truly know yourself is to stop having considerations. One of my learning from the Iron Lady program. Apparently, in simple words, it means just because! 

The explanations to various version of our identity are 

• We don't know who we are
• We think this is who we are
• We are not really bothered about who we are.  
• We accept what others tell us.
• We don't find any reason to think differently. 
• We don't know how to think differently 

Everything in life requires a strategy. A strategy to change your thinking. A strategy to change your versions.Something different. 

A jolt, a reason. Same conditions will not change situations for you. As is often said, what got you here won't get you there. 

This week I through my live and blog look into those mindsets that stop us from truly being ourselves. 

Illusion Theory- My Favourite

 

For the last four and a half month I have been trying to establish an identity, not for anyone else but for myself. There were a lot of times when I have started fresh, with a clean slate.  However, there were a few constants in my life. People, things, instances, memories, something that connected me to my previous self. One of the constant believes during these starts was, that I don’t need to associate myself with an identity.

In a time when everyone is talking about branding, differentiation, illusion theory talks about no sense of self. Interesting!

According to this theory of human being constantly undergoes a change at different levels. A common sense of identity is nothing but an illusion in that case.

Apparently evidence also proves that there is an unchanging self. We have been given to the belief that change is the only constant, but still, the notion that we need to hold on to a sense of identity seems preposterous. Our name, our brand, our position, designations, all become our identifiers.

We spend our energy trying to strengthen these identifiers, and working with them.

Illusion The theory opens a lot of new doors. Imagine the prospects you have. From one moment to another, to reimagine yourself, to make every day what they want themselves.

 

Our sense of identity is a requirement for us. It gives us power. Knowing who we are in the moment is more powerful than who we can be.

 

Think about it!!

Body Theory of Personal Identity

 

Before I go on about Body theory, something just struck me. I came across the concept of split personality, thanks to a Bollywood movie. I found it unnerving especially the portrayal. It was Ajay Devgn movie where he uses split personality as a disguise.  

Again later I came  across this concept in a couple of movies and serials with a better understanding. So what we have here is

Body Theory- Physical Identity derivatives, which essentially means, personal identity requires the survival of the same living body.

My favourite series has always been the detective series. Though supernatural and X Files, certainly would have defied the body theory, while explaining soul theory or memory or even illusion or coming up with something new altogether; Bones, Criminal Minds, Mindhunter, all captured my attention for the simple reason that they could connect the physicality of an event with a suspect.

Even in my fiction reading which is few and far in between nowadays, my focus has always been on medical fiction, even though I do not have a medical background.

The way I see it is, that what you see you explain or at least manage to explain. Soul, Memory, Illusion is so far away from us that other than philosophically put, we do not try to go near them.

I am scared of the unknown, maybe others are too. While I am writing this I also realize something about me. The reason I do not want to know is also that what I cannot see, I cannot control. What I cannot control, makes me helpless.

That is why body theory seems to be the most acceptable theory even when our philosophy and mythology talks about something different than that.  I found this interesting what I can control and what I can’t control, charts from pandemic times.  It explains body theory in a way to say,  I can control on my five senses, (body theory).

However, I am also taking an extension from it here. Does it also not built upon controlling the person I was or will be one week from now, given the factor that I do not contract the disease.

The philosophy of life is very interesting. It makes us look deep into ourselves and wants us questions ourselves on the perspectives we have been looking at ourselves for so long.

There is a connectedness in everything one does. As I read these theories, I also start understanding why do we think the way we do. Or contrariwise I start to see the origins of these theories. Some of it at least.

Tomorrow, I end the series with Illusion Theory. Let me know how you feel about the series, 

Soul Theory of Personal Identity

 

 

According to Plato self is an eternal soul which is from the true world  

 Same Soul Theory by extension states a person at one time is the same very same person as a person at a later time if and only if they have the same soul.

 In Hindu philosophy, especially in the Vedanta school of Hinduism, soul is the first principle, the true self of an individual beyond identification with phenomena, the essence of an individual. Wikipedia. The Scientology view is that a person does not have a soul, it is a soul. 

 

I am still coming to terms with the concept so will need to study a lot and go in deeper. I read about soul and death to understand some bit of soul theory. However, what surprised me was the massiveness of what I did not know. My faith, that I hold strongly to, my beliefs that I have been raised up with and have been my go-to, and my sense of fear.  

 So much thought process has already gone into it by our thought leaders and philosophers. Yet it is so far away from general folks.

 Is it not required for people to understand the complicated truth of body, soul and memories? Life and death are not so far away from us. We know it. However, accepting it within the confines of our own understanding seems challenging.

 We spent a lifetime living a certain way. Soul Theory made me question the basis of my belief system- Life after death, Karma, Paranormal, how does one explain this?

 Maybe I am asking the wrong questions. This is soul theory of personal identity. So coming back on that, if we have the same soul same person and what if the soul leaves a body to get into someone else, (Hindu mythology)  identity changes. That makes sense because we believe that will only happen when a person dies. However, when that soul enters a new body, does it carry a part of itself. I am seriously confused.

 Clearly, I need to study more. So I will keep coming back to you on this. Till then I hope I haven't confused you

 

Memory Theory

I discussed theories of personal identities yesterday. Today I  go with LIFO principle.  So by that principle, I start with Memory theory first. My personal reason for that is

•  I am familiar with John Locke’s work.  ( When I say familiar, I mean I have heard his name and researched a bit about his work during my write up on Social Contract) 
•  It is a theory that resonates, well so does  body theory, but that would be a random pick and this would be rational and hence obvious.
•  I could find more connections to technology, size and AI, which is another area that I find fascinating through this

Disclaimer : This is my understanding of the theory and an attempt to present an outlook. 

Definition

Locke suggests that the self is “a thinking intelligent being, that has reason and reflection, and can consider itself as itself, the same thinking thing, in different times and places” and continues to define personal identity simply as “the sameness of a rational being” (Locke). John Locke 

Interpretation

We are what we experience. We are what we think we experience. We are our memories. When we sleep tonight, the bits and pieces and our interpretation of what we remember the next morning makes our identity.  Since the time we start to remember to the time we die, we are nothing but our interpretation of life events. That is possibly one reason why Locke believed our conscious or memory to be a binding agent that holds our identity together.

Another aspect of it that I would like to see and understand is what if we are able to transfer our memories. Would that mean our identity transfers?  As scientist work with increasing the lifespan, the question of identity transference isn’t far away.

What I read there is a certain amount of criticism to this theory as well. If we determine our identity from our memory, does that mean we did not have an identity before our first memory?  My first memory of myself is when I was 5 years. Or what about my father’s situation who suffered from dementia, or amnesia or Alzheimer’s or any memory-related issue.

What about the emotional aspect?  The limbic brain that makes us so culpable also makes us stand apart. It is a signature style.  

Memory Theory makes sense, obviously because I am a rational human being and it is supposed to make sense. But to reach a final conclusion of what personal identity really means, let us wait for all theories.

Till then keep your feedback coming.

Knowing Thyself- Identity

 

Identity-Who or what a person is?

 

It doesn’t necessarily stop there.  It goes much deeper than that, for example, where the person hails from, her experiences, motivations, triggers, ability and rewards. Apparently, there are a couple of theories of self – identity in philosophy. I need more understanding to get a grasp of it, but the crux is given. Let us look at this-

Illusion Theory – The idea of self is a misconception as we continuously keep changing. Identity is an illusion.

Body Theory- Essentially stems from the fact that we have the same body, hence same identity

Soul Theory-  One soul one body.  As long as there is one soul in the body, that will have the same identity.

Memory Theory- Basically we are connected by a chain of memories. Therefore we are a factor of memories which make our personal identity.  

 

This aspect gives a new perspective to my understanding of personal identity. This week I work with each of these theories and see how they impact our day to day life. Keep reading keep joining. Meanwhile, your thoughts in form of blogs, videos, art form are also welcome. Do keep them coming.

Know Thyself- Something about me

  

Celebrations phase over

Learning day 2- Couple of memory techniques in hand

To do list handy as ever.

What is new about this new year?

Kritika who is managing a vibrant marketing LeanIn group, as part of likeminded LeanIn community, always comes up with thought provoking questions. One of her questions for the group was, ‘What's the one thing you're looking forward to this year and one thing you ABSOLUTELY want to avoid?’

As I was answering this, I realized the change in mindset that has come about in the last year. This year I am grateful and thankful. I am looking forward to everything and am just generally excited.  Regarding what I want to avoid, I am in a state of

If I look back to my past 42 new years, or the more recent ones atleast, this year by far takes the cake away. This new year I have a newfound respect for what I have. I think it is called gratitude.  I have always been grateful. My mother called it looking for good in situation and people. 10 years after she left for her heavenly abode, her  teachings still stand.

This new year was also special because some of the few learning I had

-         I realized that my self worth not  a factor of anyone’s approval. This set me free.

-         I realized taking one step at a time is enough as long as I keep moving forward.

-         I realized not everyone is supposed to like you and it is none of your business.

-         I realized I hhave more potential than I gave myself credit for.

-         I realized that if I read more I am able to connect the dots.  

As I move to the new year. I remain excited to take these pearls of wisdom with me, so that when situation ‘seem’ normal, I keep going forward.

New Year – Resolution 1

 

I am going to learn more

When I was doing my coaching certification course, I met a couple from Bangalore. I was in Delhi then. This course was somewhere in the third week of December so mostly towards the end of the year. What impressed me about this couple was their journey that they had taken. They were on a learning journey, together, for a whole year. They were travelling across India to attend various programs, to learn.

This year, I am going to take that journey.

Resolution number 1. I will learn more, on purpose, not by default.

While surfing through Facebook  I happened to see Rajesh Bhatt and Iron Lady video. I clicked on it to find the details and got myself enrolled. Five days later I had one certificate in hand for completion of training.

That set off the course. Today I am attending a speed reading course by Pavan Bhattad. I hail from a family of laureates where I was an anomaly. We had books, manuscripts, papers lying almost everywhere around the house. Reading, in that case, comes naturally. One doesn’t make a habit.

However when my parents and sister could read and assimilate the wealth of information hassle-free, I used to fret about reading beyond textbook except champak, Nandan, Nancy drew and hardy boys. It was only in college that I developed reading as an interest.

Today I read both as interest and as a source of learning. I became part of reading groups and from their reinvented myself. Today as part of my journey of learning, I attended a speed-reading workshop by Pavan Bhattad.  Right from our brain’s capacity to the power of the unconscious, I have been learning so many things but my biggest learning is unlearning my belief system.

Those nuggets that have been passed on from generation to generation make it impossible for us to break a pattern. It is going to be an interesting learning journey ahead and I am going to see how much I get to unlearn as I learn.

Happy New Year 2021

  

New date, change of calendar and some excitement setting in. The new year was always celebrated in our house more because it meant something special. Last night my daughter planned something. She made us wait till about 11 before she unveiled her presentation. Yes, there was a proper PPT with games, songs, quizzes, brain teaser and refreshments. We were involved in part but only she knew the complete picture.

There was only one rule. No phones.

I shy away from parties, let alone organizing them. I have no idea where my daughter gets this gene from because clearly, it’s not my forte.  My son today took the onus of inviting a  guest for my Insta Live that I organize. He sat with me to it have the discussion.

Why am I sharing this? 2020 helped everyone defy their limit, challenge their potential and venture out of their comfort zone. People realized that resilience is the only key to surviving. A positive approach, a do-good attitude and never die spirit got people through the ordeal of 2020.

Today  I had invited Dr Ridha Gupta, Diabetes Specialist and Physician, and a volunteer with Art of Living to discuss her thoughts on New  Year. My takeaway from her, amongst many others, was the term Covid fatigue. We used to speak about it but never understood it as it is.

Managing the fatigue, dealing with anxiety, meditation, breathing exercise and support group all are the foundation stone of emotional management in this new year.

Identify new hope, work with rethinking your potential, define your identity, maybe redefine it, but it is a good time to take a stock of yourself, your associations, attachments, beliefs and your path and move on from there.

Live your present completely. Do not delay your today waiting for tomorrow to come. 

Wishing you a very happy, peaceful and content 2021.  Hope that you achieve all your dreams.