Don't Help Me!

 “People will always come forward and help you in the littlest and the biggest way they can. Accept it and if it is too inconvenient which sometimes it will be, start saying no”

I remember writing this for my novel, Search for Self. There is something I had observed and understood which I wanted to convey to readers. 

Help is given at the behest of provider and not receiver.

What does that mean? That basically means, there is a sense of grandeur when we help someone and there is nothing wrong with that and may be everything. The sense of magnanimity attached to ‘helping’ somewhere takes the humility out of it. Instead if we do something as an instinct, a sense of responsibility, it would not create a divide between helper and helped.

This is what happens in the context of Mental health. There is an overwhelming awareness being created through social media about some mental health issues. Most people are not adept at handling them, but are often masters and doctorates from Whatsapp University of Applied Psychology or Facebook Institute of Behavioral Sciences.

There is enough and more studies on the negative impact of social media on mental health, but this as a reference point for 'counseling' is very scary. People start advising other based on half baked information received, some times strong reactions are generated. And at other people who need to be talked to are left far behind.

Not everyone is like that, some often prefer to do their research before broaching the subject. Some would just prefer to listen. Others may even refer you to someone else.

And all of these options are extremely viable and acceptable option.

Having seen both side, I can vouch for ‘help sutras’ as I would like to call them.

1. ·        Helping someone is not charity. It is a privilege.
2. ·         Be considerate. Ask before you assume. You will save yourself a lot of trouble.  
3. ·         Do it for the right reason. If you help someone today, and broadcast it tomorrow, there is nothing wrong with that. But remember to be honest with yourself about the reasons.
4. ·         Confidentiality is the key. Take permission before you make them your success story on social media.

I feel helping someone is a social responsibility and not a photo opportunity. Don’t waste it.