Coping- Some learning from Pandemic.

 

I saw some really interesting patterns in coping during the pandemic. I was supposed to change houses early April. In an attempt to prepare us for that I was already on minimum grocery, wanted to finish it off before moving. However, I was advised against it and I refurbished my supplies.  Was there a coping mechanism employed? Yes, I was confused and overwhelmed about what the future would look like, to allay my concerns, I spoke to friends. Talking to them not only helped me feel at ease but also guided me towards a solution.

Stressor	Uncertainty about future
Symptom	Anger, frustration
Coping Mechanism Used	Support System
Outcome	Fears allayed, a possible solution guided.

 This lockdown was especially difficult for my daughter, who missed her friends. We had just changed houses and she did not have any new friends here. She loves art and drawing but after a point, even that became a task for her. She soon became irritable, cranky and easily hurt. My husband and I sat with her and talked to her about what she was feeling, and also helped her with her options. She soon connected with her friends on zoom and phone and regular chit chats helped.

Stressor	Loneliness
Symptom	Irritation, Sensitive
Coping Mechanism Used	Problem Solving, Support System
Outcome	Validation of feelings, Lifted Spirits, Connection reestablished

 My son and husband seemed to have a handle on things. They never really came out and showed any obvious signs of distress. My father in law was a different ball game altogether. Even though he is normally a very level headed person, pandemic took a toll on him. I was amazed at how much he managed to reconnect at this time. It was great to see his friends calling and checking upon him. However, what was supposed to work as a healer, ended up in a trigger. He has been living away from his hometown for more than a year and the calls only managed to make him homesick. He was unable to see reason and decided to travel back.

Stressor	Homesickness
Symptom	Vulnerability,
Coping Mechanism Used	Avoidance
Outcome	Sense of Control

 

This is just an example to exhibit how differently each age group reacted to the same circumstances. It is also possible that the support structure for the elderly was the least. We often say that after an age, elderly behave like children, but the encouragement required for them is consistently lacking.  Therefore some of the coping mechanism that one takes for granted during childhood or youth may not be available during old age. Talking to friends, for example, will become a luxury and family a distant reality.

But like everyone says, everything has two sides. On one hand, when the elderly find it hard to resort to standard coping mechanisms like support structure within family or friends, youth have new stressors.  Adapting to new social norms, fast-paced world, or even people in 30s or 40s with responsibilities are in constant pressure. The need for them to develop coping skills becomes imperative for existence.

There is a conscious shift in mindset or at least an effort to do so. The discussion around the law of attraction, positivity, visualization, big picture and coping for that matter all point us towards productively managing our emotions and dealing with them.

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