What after success?

 

I remember holding the published version of my book for the first time. My sister was beside herself with joy and pride. My kids kept asking me for a copy to just feel it. I, however, had this huge sense of emptiness. I knew I was supposed to feel happy, excited but I felt nothing.

It was not the first time this was happening to me. The process of setting a goal and working towards it was always exciting. The culmination, the phase-out, was just incomplete. Eventually, life was going from one task to another with zero sense of excitement.

What is this feeling called? The feeling when you work for something so great and then this void after achieving it. The closest example I have to it is postpartum depression. The birth of a baby can trigger so many emotions, anticipation, pride, exhilaration, joy, anxiety, and sometimes depression. We are all familiar with it, especially with growing awareness. Postpartum depression may have existed for a long time, but it is only now that people are truly acknowledging it.

One reason that I can think of is that we view emotions as compartments, knowing well that they are all strongly interconnected. The minute Class X results are announced, students are bombarded with what course for the future. Even before class XII exams, they are preparing for their entrance. Once they pass from college, job, and from there to another.

Somewhere during this hop, skip and jump we switch to autopilot. When I heard Simon Sinek’s speech on millennials last year, I was intrigued. According to him and this is a very broad version of my interpretation, the millennial is used to instant gratifications making them susceptible to getting bored very quickly. He cited social media as creating that gap in expectations in people.

However, as an afterthought, I also realized the reason for this could be that students have this need to be validated. The way I see it is that because no one is actively doing it. Maybe our parents never did it, but now times have changed. Children, students, adults have always been doing good work. In fact, there is a lot of good work being done in general. We all live from success to success and we like to talk about it preferably with people we care about.

But sometimes I observe that celebrating somebody else’s success doesn’t come easy. A simple, well done, a little word of encouragement, from people we care about can go a long way and maybe that is why the emptiness.

We always talk about how to deal with an unsuccessful attempt but how does one deal with success. How does one keep themselves motivated?. I think the mantra is “Sambhaav”- a feeling of equilibrium or balance

The way to achieve balance is simple and stuff that has been talked about meditating, standing up for oneself, healthy eating habits, exercise, gratitude, travel, fun, learning something new, etc.

My personal favourite, however, has something to do with feeling happy for others. 

Smile, Acknowledgement, a word of encouragement and sharing. Be kind to people, help them grow and rest will balance itself. In the nutshell, to answer what comes after success- the humility to be able to make a change in someone’s life. And that will ensure more success. Just pursue what you believe in and the goals will make itself clear.

Meanwhile, on every achievement, stop, breathe, enjoy, give yourself a pat on the back, keep moving forward.