Why Insensitivity?

 A few days back I was sitting with my son while he was studying a chapter on ‘Why we fall ill?’ The chapter spoke about physical health and also I think somewhere connected it to mental health. He stopped looked at me and it felt like a light bulb moment for him. To quell to my curiosity he clarified, now I know why you used to scold us so much, it was because of your health problem. Now you don’t because you are better. At that moment, it felt like he made sense of all the frustrations that I had taken out on him in my weakest moments.

Now when I look at my children, I first feel grateful for how far I have come from being an insensitive mother to a sensitive mother. It does sound a tad overdramatic, but I was insensitive, at least my actions were, if not the intent. The reason for my insensitivity was directly related to my environment and circumstances. As my environment changed, so did my expression of sensitivity. I grew more patient and open.

Lesson: One’s environment plays a big role in determining the level of sensitivity or insensitivity towards others.

Another observation during the pandemic was people’s response to the situation. As different people struggled with it differently, one thing which came out as an obvious was growing sensitivities in people. People started reaching out to old friends and family. Those who were not connected started making connections, WhatsApp group which had been quiet for ages saw new found activity. In the nutshell, people became empathetic. However, there were other extreme too, people who were in panic mode and needed support. They were not sure how to support others. Under the circumstances, expectations of sensitive behaviour proved futile from them. They needed to take care of themselves first and then be able to assist others.

Lesson: Take care of yourself before assisting others. Reach out for help. 

I love listening to a stand-up comedy by Sindhu Vee on her set on parenting. Not just her, I like Amit Tandon, Michael Mcintyre, and so many more. Standup comedy is not new in India, Raju Srivastava, Johny Lever, all started as a standup comedian, but I was never enamoured by them. My fascination with standup began with Kunal Kamra and his boisterousness. He was soft-spoken and yet hit a chord. His set on patriotism and government had me in stitches. My admiration for the art of insensitive sensitivity grew from that moment. All standup comedians by definition are the epitome of insensitivity. They make a living out of it and yet they manage to stir sensitivities.

Lesson: Sensitivity comes in all forms, even sometimes hidden behind insensitivity

I saw an interesting video circulating post SSR’s death coverage. It was about how unprofessionally and insensitively the entire case was covered by Indian media, compromising not just ethics but also the entire investigation. It laid out clearly the lapses in reporting versus the ethical guidelines laid down by PCI. Journalism 20 years back versus journalism now has changed and as a person who is at the receiving end of the news, one tends to look for hope, not from life but the level of distasteful news that is now available on the channels. If news agencies who were supposed to be neutral and unbiased are acting as a torchbearer for insensitive reporting, it is natural that it will have an impact. You see insensitivity, you start becoming immune to it, adapting to it and accepting it as a way of life.

       Lesson: What you see is what you get and sometimes what you get is what you become. 

Corona has reminded us of the vulnerability we face and yet despite that, we live in oblivion. A quote has stuck with me throughout, 10000 is a statistics 1 is a tragedy.  Be aware before it turns into a tragedy.