The most difficult bit about closure is the need to understand why it happened to me. The ambiguity, the lack of answers keeps one wallowing in self-pity and at other times indulges in self-destructive behaviour.
Quite recently someone
shared a story of a wife of army martyr whose body was never found in the war.
His wife waited for good 20 years in the hope that he might be alive for him to
come back. When asked why she did not marry again, she said, she hoped for him
to come back. She never really got closure. She never lost hope.
It wasn’t that she
stopped her life. I think she was probably working also, but the hope that someday
she might see her husband keeps her alive probably to date.
The way this story was
shared with me, the person felt sorry for her. However, there is another way of
looking at it. Probably she is choosing to wait. Hope is grand. It keeps us
going from one day to another, from one emotion to another.
It helps us celebrate.
But what about closure? Do we really need it then?
The answer to this lies
in introspection. Sometimes we have closure and anything beyond that will make
us feel vulnerable. When we are ready for a loss and prepared for it, closure
is easy, but when it’s sudden we end up feeling cheated.
My experience for
dealing with closures is
1.
Acknowledgement- Acknowledging
the fact that someone needs a closure is the first step to getting one. Most of
our lives we go on without the realization that we are hurting and need to heal
to move on. Our pain needs to be acknowledged.
2.
Gratitude- Being
thankful work wonders, at the moment. We need to be grateful for everything we have.
Gratitude helps us move on.
3.
Celebrate- Celebrate
your milestone. See yourself through each and every difficulty with the support of
loved ones.
The path to healing is
a road full of ups and downs sometimes it takes time and may feel like a
difficult ride. Give yourself time. It is worth the effort.
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