Because we should Care!

 I first heard, Sushant’s demise through a whatsapp message. I couldn’t believe it.  I switched on the news and then soon turned it off. I have been working with mental health issues not directly but indirectly for quite some time. I lost my father to dementia. As a coach and mentor, I am aware of the mental health issues and the need to address them.  I might have gone through my share of struggles as well. But I had support and I was able to get out of it.

What bothered me about the case was why would, someone with a smile so pure, resort to something so ghastly. Ending one’s life should never be anyone’s prerogative but if someone is led to by circumstances to take such a decision, were there warning signals that we missed. I started observing him. Till then I had only watched one of his movie, MS Dhoni and PK  and loved the authenticity of the character he played. PK, I don’t think he had much do it. But that never bothered us. My family was a fan of ‘Chhichhore’ especially because of the message it gave. The moral being 'don't give up'.  Ironic isn’t it. and that is where we missed it I guess. 

  Lot of people started talking about mental and emotional health issues. Videos were made. Facebook posts were circulated. And then the story angle changed. It wasn’t a suicide after all it was a suspected murder. That was shocking especially with this new drug racket coming into light. However somewhere along the line, the initial discussion on mental health got sidelined.

But my today’s post is going to concentrate on emotional health issues. There is a growing awareness  about issues relating to emotional crisis and problems. When we were young, all we heard about was Agra ka pagalkhana, and joked about it too. Every irreverent comment, or any funny banter would mostly entail  someone landing up in pagalkhana. Infact, Agra was more famous for that than its heritage of Tajmahal.

Things have changed now. A bit atleast. May be because, people have openly started talking about it, accepting that problem beyond physical ailments are common and treatable and not all problems should be generalized.  However the stigma still continues and now it even has a name. It’s called ‘sanism’.

Now ‘sanist’, by that definition, is one who discriminates against someone with mental or emotional distress. This could range from bias in employment, to violence, to sometimes dismissal of the problem. These issues are embedded in the society.

Anyone who is not normal or has a concern that we don’t understand, is discriminated against. What people forget is that definition of normal is fed to us by media and the society at large. But may be if we spend such time in understanding that emotional pain has very real physical implications too, we will be able to at least address some bit of it.

There are studies which confirm a connection between emotional and physical pain. Everytime we go through any kind of emotional distress our body also reacts to it. Children are the best example of it. Sometimes your child will come to you with severe headache or stomach ache with no apparent cause. Why because they want your attention at that point of time. At that point of time if we dismiss their pain and ask them to be strong, we give them the message to shut out emotional issues. If we empower our children to talk about their emotions, they further go with empathy and love. 

There is a need for the discussion to go on. To find out ways and means in which we can be more open and talk about mental health issues instead of stigmatizing them. SSR's case did open the discussion but let us not close it. Things need to be said and heard.

Let us keep the ball rolling!