Between yesterday and today, there is a strong awareness which dawned on me. My impatience is creating a huge hurdle in my listening ability. I feel I wasn't always like that, but I could be wrong maybe it was a blind spot.
What were my cues to this realization?
CUE 1
When people are talking, I interrupt, trying to keep my point.
Why I am doing this? -where am I coming from- my need to be heard.
What did I end up missing- Things people were saying and more importantly stuff they weren't.
Another aspect to it was that in order to fill the gap, I filled in the gaps talking more than required, giving in pieces of information which should have been privy to me.
Hence my Learning- Leaders should listen more not just so they create an atmosphere of cohesiveness and empathy but also so that they don't divulge information they are not expected to or required to.
CUE 2
Body language or if on the phone, a sudden quiet on the other side(discounting technical issues) means something about the conversation is not making them feel heard. Even exacting response like, hmm, ok, yes, or our famous Indian head bobs, all point towards the direction. that they don't feel heard.
Why I am doing this? -where am I coming from- 'I stop caring what the other person has to say after they did or did not say what I want them to say.
What did I end up missing- Some valuable insights into looking things differently. Good ideas or even bad ones that could have possibly helped me.
With time and this behaviour, people will start giving up on me. Sounds extreme! It isn't. Giving up on me doesn't mean they would stop interacting but they would in all likelihood create a distance.
Leadership lesson- If you want to be a leader, tune in to unsaid more than the said. The insight is priceless.
Listening is patience. Patience to deal with someone else's baggage while dealing with one's own. The idea is to manage it effectively so that one baggage does not reflect on the other.
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